“…let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath”
James 1:19
“Low trust causes friction, whether it is caused by unethical behavior or by ethical but incompetent behavior.Low trust is the greatest cost in life and in organizations, including families…Low trust slows everything – every decision, every communication, and every relationship. On the other hand, trust produces speed..the greatest trust building key is “results.” Results build brand loyalty. Results inspire and fire up a winning culture….also put suppliers and customers under the main tent as strategic partners…”
Page xxv of Forward in Speed of Trust by Stephen M.R. Covey
In his book Covey describes Trust in a very unique way that include the behavior of Listen First. In his description Listen First is a component of both Character and Competence.
Behavior #11: Listen First
Listen before you speak. Understand. Diagnose. Listen with your ears – and your eyes and heart. Find out what the most important behaviors are to the people you’re working with. Don’t assume you know what matters most to others. Don’t presume you have all the answers – or all the questions.
Covey points out the Opposite of Listen First is "To speak first and listen last, or not to listen at all "
My years of practicing and teaching Speed of Trust has brought a real appreciation for how Mr. Covey points out the "Counterfeit" to the Behaviors. The counterfeit to Listen First is – Listening without understanding, pretending to listen, spending “listening” time formulating your reply, focusing only on getting out your agenda.
In 2 Chronicles 10:15 there's an example* of NOT Listening Well, or First - “So the king did not listen to the people; for the turn of events was from God, that the Lord might fulfill His word….” (NKJ)
In this example the king’s hunger for power, unreasonable demands, poor decision and unwillingness to listen ultimately led to his destruction.
Listening and hearing are two separate things. While we all hear as it’s a function of our ears, listening is a willingness, even a response to hearing.
An good example* of Listen First can be found in 1 Samuel 26:1-25 – In these verses of scripture David displays an example of many of the behaviors Covey teaches in Speed of Trust including the Listen First -
a. David initiated contact with Saul and set the stage for communication
b. David appealed to Saul’s sense of right and wrong
c. David asked questions and listened for a heartfelt response
d. David asked Saul to listen so he could share his perspective
e. David was determined to own up to anything he had done wrong
f. David submitted himself to Saul
g. David offered forgiveness and reconciliation as an act of trust in God
David displayed love in everyway in this exchange. As you hear people today, listen to them by loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind, and loving others as you love yourself. Trust is in direct relationship to this verse about love.
Additional scripture about listening; 1 Samuel 3:1-3, Job 2:11-13, Habakkuk 1:1-11, Luke 2:42-52
History proves that we will be the same five years from today in direct relationship to who we associate with, the books we read, what we watch and what we hear. Be purposeful and listen well to what your hearing and what you say to yourself.
To that end, do today well.
Blessings, Danny
Note: other writings on "a page from...." can be found by searching this blog for "a page." This is part of an ongoing project as described @ http://thespeedoftrustingodseyesproject.blogspot.com/
*Examples of Listening Well and Not Well taken from "The Leadership Bible" by John Maxwell
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