Communicate Well - a page from The Speed of Trust in God's Eyes

Death and life are in the power of the tongue

Proverbs 18:21

 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt,

so that you may know how you should answer everyone.

Colossians 4:6

Most Christians would say they “trust God.” Yet, how is that practiced, how is that played out in the real world? My purpose in the next few minutes is to get you to think just little about Communicating Well; its importance and some practical applications. To help drive these points, I'll use a couple of Biblical illustrations from John Maxwell's Leadership Bible and a behavior as described in Stephen M.R. Covey's Speed of Trust. Hopefully you'll pick up the importance of Communicating Well; that practice sure helps me trust God, myself and others at a much higher level.

Here's a bit about how Talk Straight as described in The Speed of Trust;

Tell the truth and leave the right impression. Be honest and let people know where you stand. Use simple language. Don't manipulate or distort facts. Don't spin the truth. Don't leave false impressions.

Opposite - to lie or deceive

Counterfeit - beating around the bush, withholding information, double-talk, flattery, positioning and spinning the truth. Technically telling the truth, but leaving a false impression. Legally splitting hairs.

The points-to-ponder here are "tell the truth and leave the right impression" and "counterfeits." I've worked at practicing these specific behaviors for over 4 years now and invariably the problem I come across is a distortion, or counterfeit of the behaviors.

A Biblical example of not Communicating Well -

Genesis 2:15-17, 3:1-6; communication was one of many ways that Adam failed by…

a. ignoring some details in the message he was supposed to communicate
b. allowed himself to be influenced more by Eve than God
c. failing to remember, or ignoring, the consequences of disobeying God
d. not taking responsibility for his communication failure

In this example the king’s hunger for power, unreasonable demands, poor decision and unwillingness to listen ultimately led to his destruction.

Listening and hearing are two separate things. While we all hear as it’s a function of our ears, listening is a willingness, even a response to hearing.

An example of Communicating Well -

1 Samuel 10:3 – 12:25; While Samuel wasn’t “King,” he was the King of Communication. Samuel….

a. spoke words of revelation (back in 7:3)
b. spoke words of inspiration (10:3-6)
c. spoke words of exhortation (10:24)
d. spoke words of affirmation (10:24)
e. spoke words of information (10L25)
f. spoke words of declaration (12:20-25)

Samuel kept his message simple, knew his audience, lived what he preached and looked for a response from the people by urging them to obey God.

Additional scripture about Communicating Well: Exodus 12:3-23, Joshua 4:1-9, Psalm 19:14, Proverbs 12:14, 15:1-7

In closing, here are some additional points-to-ponder:
- you may be a good speaker, but are you a good communicator?
- do you pay close attention to what God is telling you?
- regardless of your temperament, skill or gifts, do you give appropriate attention to detail?
- as a leader and a follower are you clear about the message your speaking and hearing?


Communicate Well in your management, leading and especially following!

Danny

Note: other writings on "a page from...." can be found by searching this blog for "a page." This is part of an ongoing project as described @ http://thespeedoftrustingodseyesproject.blogspot.com/

Listening Well: A page from "The Speed of Trust in God's Eyes"

“…let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath”

James 1:19

“Low trust causes friction, whether it is caused by unethical behavior or by ethical but incompetent behavior.Low trust is the greatest cost in life and in organizations, including families…Low trust slows everything – every decision, every communication, and every relationship. On the other hand, trust produces speed..the greatest trust building key is “results.” Results build brand loyalty. Results inspire and fire up a winning culture….also put suppliers and customers under the main tent as strategic partners…”

Page xxv of Forward in Speed of Trust by Stephen M.R. Covey

In his book Covey describes Trust in a very unique way that include the behavior of Listen First. In his description Listen First is a component of both Character and Competence.

Behavior #11: Listen First
Listen before you speak. Understand. Diagnose. Listen with your ears – and your eyes and heart. Find out what the most important behaviors are to the people you’re working with. Don’t assume you know what matters most to others. Don’t presume you have all the answers – or all the questions.

Covey points out the Opposite of Listen First is "To speak first and listen last, or not to listen at all "

My years of practicing and teaching Speed of Trust has brought a real appreciation for how Mr. Covey points out the "Counterfeit" to the Behaviors. The counterfeit to Listen First is – Listening without understanding, pretending to listen, spending “listening” time formulating your reply, focusing only on getting out your agenda.

In 2 Chronicles 10:15 there's an example* of NOT Listening Well, or First - “So the king did not listen to the people; for the turn of events was from God, that the Lord might fulfill His word….” (NKJ)

In this example the king’s hunger for power, unreasonable demands, poor decision and unwillingness to listen ultimately led to his destruction.

Listening and hearing are two separate things. While we all hear as it’s a function of our ears, listening is a willingness, even a response to hearing.

An good example* of Listen First can be found in 1 Samuel 26:1-25 – In these verses of scripture David displays an example of many of the behaviors Covey teaches in Speed of Trust including the Listen First -

a. David initiated contact with Saul and set the stage for communication
b. David appealed to Saul’s sense of right and wrong
c. David asked questions and listened for a heartfelt response
d. David asked Saul to listen so he could share his perspective
e. David was determined to own up to anything he had done wrong
f. David submitted himself to Saul
g. David offered forgiveness and reconciliation as an act of trust in God

David displayed love in everyway in this exchange. As you hear people today, listen to them by loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind, and loving others as you love yourself. Trust is in direct relationship to this verse about love.

Additional scripture about listening; 1 Samuel 3:1-3, Job 2:11-13, Habakkuk 1:1-11, Luke 2:42-52

History proves that we will be the same five years from today in direct relationship to who we associate with, the books we read, what we watch and what we hear. Be purposeful and listen well to what your hearing and what you say to yourself.


To that end, do today well.


Blessings, Danny

Note: other writings on "a page from...." can be found by searching this blog for "a page." This is part of an ongoing project as described @ http://thespeedoftrustingodseyesproject.blogspot.com/



*Examples of Listening Well and Not Well taken from "The Leadership Bible" by John Maxwell