I asked Cathy her opinion of something, she gave it to me, I asked it a different way and gave her a comparision, she stayed with her original statement, I got frustrated and an arguement developed.
Thinking back through the dialog, I wasn't soliciting advice, but was trying to solicit MY answer. I wanted her to validate MY feelings about the subject and and then I wouldn't have to present an issue to someone esle.
She wasn't buying it. She wasn't going to lie to me and thankfully she was willing to stand up and not back away.
My lesson? If I don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.
And the feelings I was trying to validate, the issue I was willing to argue with Cathy instead of someone else? Ha. They were stupid to begin with.
To that end....
Thinking back through the dialog, I wasn't soliciting advice, but was trying to solicit MY answer. I wanted her to validate MY feelings about the subject and and then I wouldn't have to present an issue to someone esle.
She wasn't buying it. She wasn't going to lie to me and thankfully she was willing to stand up and not back away.
My lesson? If I don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.
And the feelings I was trying to validate, the issue I was willing to argue with Cathy instead of someone else? Ha. They were stupid to begin with.
To that end....
2 comments:
Danny where did we learn the mentality that we need to be right?
The serenity prayer is one of my favorites. My own words.. Give me the courage to change the things I can and leave other things alone and the wisdom to know the difference.
Thanks for the reminder..
In this case, I had an agenda and hadn't really recognized it. I didn't want to confront another issue and as long as Cathy answered the question a certain way, I wouldn't have to. AND SHE DIDN'T!!!
And guess what, I confronted the issue and it was met with no resistance.
Yes, the serenity prayer. You're welcome and thank you Hurdie.
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