Toilet...She Dropped Her Phone IN-THE-TOILET

It helps if people are really listening when you tell a story. I was telling my wife a story this morning about one of her loan officers dropping her phone in the toilet. As I was giving her details of how it was told to me, Cathy (my wife) look at me and said "Pardon me? Where did she drop her phone?"

I said, "Toilet."

She said, "OHHHH, I thought you said POOL and what you were saying about how she dropped it made no sense at all. No wonder you're laughing so hard."

Actually, it was the overall description of how it managed to fall in toilet, but that's another story. The point being, I'm telling a story and she assumes what I'm about to say, not really listening. How did she get POOL out of TOILET?

This happens so much, and not just with our spouses. We talk, send emails and messages, we assume our messages are being heard or read and we go on about our business; under assumptions. A client was having a hard time understanding why one of his clients wasn't making a decision to buy, called me to discuss and I reminded him about his (my client's) sales assessment (SMARTS survey) which said he needed to be more aware of his client's point-of-view. But again, another story. Point being....pay attention to what someone is saying if you want good dialog and results.

In the case of telling my wife the story, I just wanted to share a laugh with her!

Another reason that even when we're not in conflict, we need to follow the conflict rules -

1. respond, don't react
2. go to the person
3. treat the event, not the person
4. expect the best
5. see clarity, ask questions
6. talk straight and leave the right impression
7. evaluate and correct rapidly

Does pool sound anything at all like toilet? And I did say t-o-i-l-e-t. She didn't even argue with me.

I know I'm right.


To that end......

P.S. if you want to know if someone is listening, stop telling the story and see if they ask you to continue.