Talking To Yourself

I had the privilege of speaking to a group this week about "how" we talk to ourselves and "what" that talk can do. Getting ready for that talk I re-read much of Shad Helmstetter's book "What To Say When You Talk To Your Self." ( This is the first book my wife saw me purchase back in 1986).

My talk focused on Trust. In particular, how we trust ourselves (or not), and the impact the words that come out of our mouths have on our trust. How much we trust our self, and others.
Three other books were used to illustrate factors in that 45 minute presentation - John G. Miller's "QBQ," Stephen M. R. Covey's "The Speed of Trust," and God's "Bible." The Bible references came from John Maxwell's "Leadership Bible."

The application I left everyone with was pure QBQ (the question behind the question) -

1. Don't ask questions that start with When, When or Where and/or contain Who or They.

2. Ask questions that start with HOW or WHAT, contain I and focuses on ACTION.

To that end.....become a become a better leader through talking smarter by asking better questions (it's not just others that hear hear yourself)


Who do you trust with your mortgage referrals? I use my 28 years of experience to lead you through the home loan minefield:

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