Sync Your Lips with Your Feet

What you do speaks so loudly that what you say I cannot hear

- Anonymous

Stephen M.R. Covey states "trust is one thing that changes everything. Trust is common to every individual, team, family, nation and organization." Mr. Covey continues with building an excellent compelling business case for Trust and how it is something you can get better at.

Having become a student of Covey's brand of trust the past 4 years, I've used his teachings in my daily practice of coaching, training and life. The one factor that stands out higher than any other is his 2nd core of credibility -

Intent: What's Your Agenda?

You can find this in his words and detail beginning with page 73, but I'll give you my version.

1. Words and Walk; the words and the walk must be the same every time. When they aren't, I lose traction with the relationship and everything slows down. When the words and walk are consistent, then our relationship speeds up and will grow.

2. Watch out for Blind Spots; be aware of the fact that we trust people based upon how much we trust ourselves and our own feelings about trust. If our tendency is to not trust, then relationships don't grow and business slows down. If we tend to blindly trust others, then we'll get burned. Subsequently, as we trust well, we'll build relationships and business between within those relationships will flourish.

3. Willingness to Win/Win; intentions and motives. Is everyone in the relationship pointed towards not only the same end mission or purpose, but also goals along the way and the basis for how to get there? Does everyone understand the other person's "win?"


My favorite Trust Behavior is -

Create Transparency (page 152): tell the truth in a way people can verify. Be real, open and authentic. Over deliver your disclosure.

Opposite is - hidden agenda / withhold information / not disclosing because "they didn't ask"

Counterfeit - masking the real behavior and agenda with hidden agendas and motives / being passively-aggressive / technically telling the truth (Covey has this as part of "Talking Straight" but in practice I've found it to be important here also)


Our lips and feet come out-of-sync in many ways and that can be driven by a lack of focus, the greed to sell something at the moment and volatility. Some of us don't even realize what we are doing at the time, others of us do and mistakenly think the end result is the only thing that matters.

Look over your shoulder and be aware of what you leave along the way; bad and good - improve on the bad and relish the good. Practice trust well.

To that end......


Danny

Counterfeit Credibility

A former employee of mine used to talk about people's passive-agressive behavior and I had the hardest time getting a grip on what he meant. I'd ask him what he meant and typically get a clinical answer until it hit me that it was saying one thing and then doing something else. Ha. I thought that was lying! Or just plain bad behavior and a lack of credibility. I'm a plain English type guy and either someone has credibility, or they don't. They're either lying, or telling the truth. Right?  Covey, in his book Speed of Trust, introduces the Four Cores of Credibility; Character, Competence, Intent and Results and I pound these out in my training and coaching. We'll cover these four cores in the coming weeks, but first, what does Counterfeit Credibility look like?

Credibility, or lack of, shows up most in behaviors.Googling counterfeit brought up over 7 million hits and credibility 948,000. Counterfeit means; made in imitation so as to be passed off fraudulently or deceptively as genuine; not genuine; forged: counterfeit dollar bills. Pretended; unreal.

Credibility means; capable of being believed; believable: a credible statement. Worthy of belief or confidence; trustworthy: a credible witness.

So, Counterfeit Credibility is when one's credibility, or credible statement, or credible witness is an imitation, deceptive, not genuine, and deceptive.

See if you recognize any of these counterfeit behaviors in yourself or those around you:

• Technically telling the truth
• Legally splitting hairs
• Spinning the real issues
• Withholding information (well, they didn't ask the right question)
• Hidden motives and agendas (arg, I know you aren't supposed to hate, but I seriously can't stand this one)
• Passive-aggressive behavior
• Being driven by circumstance and not conscience
• Being two-faced; pretending to care
• Pretending to pay attention
• Being busy to look busy and not getting results
• Not accepting the blame when it is your fault

These behaviors destroys others trust in us, AND your trust in yourself.

To that end....