Leading, Influence and Control


Daily we all influence and through this influence, we in turn lead others. Not always, but normally.



Example: years ago, in around 1980, I was with a group of people and one them was women 8 month's pregnant. When the waitress came to ask for orders, the pregnant woman orders a beer. The waitress takes everyone's order and walks off. A few minutes later, she comes back a let's everyone know that she does not agree with the pregnant woman's choice to drink while pregnant and that another waitress, who feels it is not her place to make such a "judgement," will be taking over the table.



Now, let's take a look at all the influencing that took place during this 5 minutes and what it led to.



obviously there was the influencing by the pregnant woman's choice to order a beer

there had been other influences in the waitress' life that led her to be influenced to voice her opinion and not just give up the table to another waitress because of those past influences that led her to the convictions to begin with

the waitress was influenced by the pregnant woman to give up her table, thus, her tip from a large group of people

the new waitress was influenced

others at the table were influenced to discuss and even verbally express judgement on and ridicule the 1st waitress

at least one person, me, was influenced enough by the 1st waitress to remember 25+ years later the event. I had never considered, up until then, the dangers drinking brought to an unborn fetus. Those thoughts and concerns were not part of my thought patterns at that time in my life, but yet, I'm influenced by the actions of another with such an exchange of words and actions.

Now, replace the word influence with lead.

In the same exercise, take either word and replace with the word influence or lead with control and you'll find them not near the same. The only person that controls us is ourselves. We have choices. We have free will. There are of course consequences to choices. But, just because some leads, or influences, us doesn't mean with have to follow. We might loose friends, or a job, or "respect"....but we have control over how we are influenced.

This was originally posted on GodandWorkMatters in November, 2008